Jet-Lagged Dreams Make for Great Spin-offs

Jack Bauer is at it again, but instead of working for the CIA's CTU, he's kicking it parochial! That's right, he's working for the Vatican. Is he considered a "Counter-Heresy Agent"? This dream's episode consists of Bauer and his newest sidekick (apparently me) chasing around a satanist couple. The devilish duo is apparently trying to kidnap a pregnant lady in the middle of mass with some kind of magic fireball. Not if Jack Bauer can help it! When we corner the couple in the church they plead ignorance, or they try, until another parishioner blows their cover. "I saw you two casting your evil spells on your front lawn last night!" The couple starts to run, and the man is clotheslined by a deacon, while the woman goes the opposite way and starts firing pistol rounds. We run after her, and then immediately lose her! It must have been some more of that devil magic (or Chinese espionage)! I see something flash out of the corner of my eye, and the chase begins again.

This is where the episode ended in my head, but I would imagine that future episodes of XXIV would feature a picture of a church calendar at the beginning and end of the show ("The following takes place between the feast days for St. Thomas Aquinas and John the Baptist"), and tactical support for Bauer would be supplied by the Swiss Guard and some Holy Helicopters. "Father O'Malley, it's Jack Bauer, the Prego-napping has been averted, but I need to speak to the Pope!" If the show played on EWTN you could put in a rosary break, so people could pray while Jack Bauer also prays, IN DYNAMIC REAL TIME! The Rome episodes would be action packed ecumenical adventures, not to mention, who wouldn't like to see Jack Bauer handle an exorcism?